When you set a goal, it is a desire to change. Your desire will be blocked by a number of obstacles but the most important one will be your attitude. Your true, core attitude is determined by your words and the most important words are those you speak to yourself.

This barrier to accomplishing your desires is well recognized. There are a number of well known authors who have written entire books on this subject or have chapters in their books about self talk. Two that I will refer to over and over are Dr. Judith Beck, Ph.D. and Dr. Shad Helmstetter, Ph.D. Dr. Beck wrote the Beck Diet solution. Dr. Helmstetter wrote What to Say When You Talk to Yourself.

Try to write down 10 negative things you have said to yourself in the past. If you said them while trying to change your body through diet and exercise, Dr. Beck says you might have said these:

I can’t resist.

I’m really hungry.

I’ll never lose weight anyway.

I’ll end up eating it eventually.

I’m being punished.

I have no will power.

Dieting (or exercise, or budgeting etc….) is too hard.

It’s not fair.

If you want to talk to yourself correctly think about what I have written about SMART goals. Here are 8 tips for self talk from Dr. Helmstetter:

1. It must be in the present tense.
2. It must be specific
3. Direct your self talk in a healthy, beneficial way.
4. Make your self talk easy to use.
5. Make your self talk practical.
6. Make your self talk honest.
7. Make your self talk personal.
8. Make sure your self talk stretches you.

I tried to write a mnemonic and came up with BE PHS PHS

• B - beneficial
• E- Easy to use
• P- Present tense
• H- Healthy
• S- Specific
• P- Practical
• H- Honest
• S- Stretches you

Look Better Naked?

How could you use this information to improve your self talk? Since we started with a body improvement goal lets explore that area. You are looking for self motivation. Another author I read rearranged the word motivation to read MOTIVe-AcTION. He added the e and the c to give the word new meaning. His implication was you needed a motive for your action. I know, you want to be healthy and avoid illness etc… Really if you admit it, you want to look better naked. If you get the other stuff that’s gravy. The problem is that one motive isn’t enough. You need what I heard called “multi-motives”. More than one reason to do what you want to do. What ever it is, drawing on SMART goals, it must be achievable and realistic. You must be able to measure your progress and you must be specific and accomplish the goal in a certain amount of time.

Your self talk could help you discover new motivations. You could write and memorize an advertisement for your goal.

“I am losing (present tense) fat and gaining muscle. My written plan states I eat a diet that contains 14 ounces of fruits and vegetables every day and no meat portion bigger than my palm. (healthy and easy to use) I eat when scheduled and if I am “hungry” I drink 8 ounces of a cool, liquid with no calories. I do not eat calorie dense foods. I am free to eat what ever I want for lunch on any Sunday.(practical) I plan three 10 minute exercise periods a day and use the Quick Fit recommendations of Richard Bradley to accomplish this. I have recruited a diet coach named _____________. ____________ holds me accountable by listening to my report each week on my progress. I initiate the call and make the report from the record of eating I keep and my exercise log. It takes time and energy to do this but it is a pleasure to do. I like to hear myself talk about my weekly accomplishments. I do what I do for my health, my looks, my love life, my sex life, and my self esteem. I am a person who is worthy of having the best health, making the best effort, and receiving the best reward - an improved me.”

Your goal here is to have a system of eating and exercise and reporting your progress. If you use the system you accomplish the goal. You don’t have to be a certain size in a certain time. You “win” if you do the right things consistently.

Home Work

Is this affirmation good? It could be better. It could be your personal words. I challenge you to write a better one. Put it in the comments and tell me why it’s better. Or, tell me what I missed, did I get BE PHS PHS into this one? Analyze it and rewrite it. Put your version in the comments.

 

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