Everyone I talk to wants to lose weight or thinks they should. Awareness of the need to lose weight is common. It isn’t because of health classes or good public health policy. It is because of TV shows, movies and ads. The ideal is portrayed as thin, wealthy and totally unlike you. Even though people who are over, under and normal weight all think they should lose (the “I want to look better naked” effect). Those who need to lose, don’t know how to make it happen long term.

I have written about the change process before but will assume this is the first article of mine you have read. There are many theories of change but the one that seems to work best and is therefore most popular is the transtheoretical model of change.

This model outlines six stages of change. These are not descriptions of people but are descriptions of where they are in the change process with regard to a change they want or need to make.

The first stage is precontemplation. During this stage the person is unaware of the need to change, refuses to change (I won’t) or feels unable to change (I can’t). To help a person in this change you must give them a very good reason (I won’t) or empower them and also give them a good reason (I can’t).

Once the person will acknowledge the need to change they enter stage two - contemplation. It usually will take 90 days to bring about a readiness and willingness to change. Individuals in contemplation see the benefits of maintaining their behavior as stronger and more beneficial than the benefits of changing. They need to find a very good reason or multiple reasons that cumulatively provide a greater benefit to change than to remain the same. This process can not be skipped. Occasionally individuals who are overweight will see an infomercial that will convince them of the great benefit of some supplement or routine or equipment that will allow them to skip right to results. They will jump in and subscribe or buy and then find it does not work for them as advertised. Now they are back in contemplation and have more “evidence” that change will not work for them.

Once the person is convinced of the need for change and the benefit of change is greater in their mind than the benefit of their current behavior, they are in the preparation stage. Real change will occur in the form of action within 30 days. It is common for people to experiment with various ways of changing. If they are quitting smoking they will”cut down”. They may try over-the-counter drugs or consult their physician for prescription help. They want to change. Now is the time for them to write two plans. One is the way they intend to get from where they are now to where they want to be. The other has been called their recycle plan. When they deviate from their plan back to old behaviors they need a way to recycle the experienced gained and get back on track to the desired result.

When they implement their plan, they are in action phase. Any where along the way a person may encounter difficulties that stops progress and puts them into an earlier stage. This is doubly true if they try to skip ahead without finding their “why” and making the two plans. There isn’t a set amount of time for this to take place but for the time to be shorter the reasons have to really be strong and valid in the individuals mind.

Action phase is about 6 months long. During this time the excitement is high and so is the expenditure of energy to maintain new behaviors. It is good if the person making the changes associates themselves with another individual or group of individuals making similar changes. Dr. David Schwartz in his book The Magic of Thinking Big talks about the bandwagon. he says if someone has a bandwagon rolling in the direction you are going jump on. It will carry you along with less effort. Others use similar analogies when they advise you to not invent a way but to use and improve a way that is already working.

Once a behavior has been maintained for at least 6 months, the person enters maintenance phase. Here the effort is habit. There is no longer a decision of if, the actions are done automatically. Six months is a good start and each passing month reinforces the behavior. It is possible to slide back to contemplation here of a big setback occurred but it becomes less and less likely. Eventually the behavior is so fixed that the change process is considered terminated since the new behavior is permanent and return to unwanted behavior will not happen.

No matter where you are in the process - contemplation or termination - you have to always remember what it is you want. Keeping your eye focused and refocused on your desired outcome and the reasons for wanting that outcome is key to maintaining your change.

This has been quite abstract. Concretely I have seen smokers reach a point that they have a number of health problems related to and aggravated by smoking. They know they should quit and tell me “I wish I could quit but…”. I try to give them reasons to quit and have them tell me two benefits of quitting. When I see them next I reinforce the need to develop a list of benefits of quitting. One is not enough, they need several. I remind them of avoiding what I have heard termed “a wake-up call”. A wake up call would be developing a lung or bladder tumor, having a pneumonia that requires surgery to drain the pus from the lung or having a heart related problem that is linked to smoking like a “heart attack”.

Once they are ready, I have them come back and we make a list of the reasons they want a different result and what result they are looking for and how they will know they have it. Then we create a plan and a way of recycling that knowledge if they get off track. We sign a contract that allows them to call or email me for reinforcement and clarification of their plan or implementation of their effort. I try to help them identify others they can talk to in their usual life away from my office also.

In reality, a small percentage of people follow through. If they encounter a problem, they are ready to quit. They see it as too hard or that they can’t do it. This is more typical of women. Men just “quit wanting” the desired result. They have the “sour grapes” attitude.

You are never defeated until you quit. A desired change is either necessary - quit smoking or lose weight - or desired - run a half-marathon. Problems and hurdles are part of the process. That is why most big changes require a coach/confidant plus a group/bandwagon to help get you there.

At first you are on the bandwagon, then you are driving the wagon that others are getting on. Get yourself there and others will be attracted to your effort. Be their mentor, encourage them. I always had the attitude “Why should I do that? Isn’t this something they should do anyway?” It wasn’t until I was older and needed the bandwagon effect for somethings I needed to accomplish that I understood the power in this method. It just did not happen until I did “all” that was necessary (get on the bandwagon with others and admit I needed help too).

What is it you want to change? How could I be of help? Leave me a comment if there is something that I could write about that would help you.

If it is your weight you want to change join me for my Thursday evening teleseminar series Recipe to Look Better Naked.

It is free but you must register. Look to the right for the sign up opportunity. If you are reading this via RSS or email then click on the headline and then look to the right.

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